So since my last post my entire world has changed. I still have every intention to buy a house as soon as my credit clears up next spring. My honey and his boys will be moving in with me too. The plan got a little complicated when I was surprised by a positive pregnancy test last month on the 19th, day before my beautiful new niece was born... Scary news at first but I am so happy and so is my man after it all sank in. We just finished telling or families the news the other day on my bday then that evening I ended up in emergency thinking I was having a miscarriage. Luckily the bleeding was nothing serious but I've been on bed rest just to be safe. Well just to throw more confusion into the mix I got a call yesterday about a job I had applied for in insurance claims. Still have to do some testing but if its meant to be it will. Only really scary thing is I would have to do 3 straight months of training far from home if my dr gives me the go ahead for travel. Its exciting and scary but if I don't do it now I won't be able to later because the baby will be here. This has definitely been the year for changes and even with a few bumps along the way its been one hell of s ride!

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bustin my ass

I really hope all this hard work pays off in the end because its wiping me out. Im at work and just finished 2 reports for my eng class that are due mon. That means 2moro is me time finally. I walkked nearly 4 miles this moring and plan on getting another walk in after work in the morning. Im feeling pretty good about everything, just tired. Ive also set a new goal for myself, to buy a house by this time next year. Im trying so hard to accomplish all my major goals possible. Ok its late, more another day.

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Too much

I'm exhausted mentally and physically right now. I've been pretty much going non stop since fri morning and its catching up with me. School til 3 fri then work for 17 his straight then homework sat afternoon and trending to my beat up cat's wounds and bathing him then another 17 hour work shift. Then sun afternoon home for more homework and running to my mom's house to print my report and while I'm there my ex shows up with the girl her cheated on me with. Whatever I am glad its not my problem anymore. So I leave there and back to work for 17 more hours. Leave here and go straight to school in the morning and hopefully I can spend 2moro evening as a vegetable before it all starts again. I dont regret doing all this stuff but i do appreciate being home afterwards. I do miss seeing my boyfriend as much as i used to but absence makes the heart grow fonder. I cant believe how lucky i am to have him! I am not the easiest person to be in a relationship with i know but he hasnt run away screaming yet which is a good sign i hope. Well its bedtime

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2011 Resolutions and Goals

I decided to post a list of things i want to accomplish this year so I can keep track of what I need to do and what I have done.  Most likely I will be coming back to this post to update and add new goals throughout the year.

1.  Eat Healthier
2.  Exercise
3.  Study better for school
4.  Become more organized
5.  Spend smarter
6.  Broaden music library
7.  Learn to cook
8.  Broaden artistic side
9.  Learn skills for doll making
10. Start reading for pleasure
11. Learn to sew
12. Spend more time with family
13. Go to more concerts/Live music
14. Spend more time with my nephew
15. Ride my bike and roller skate
16. Find a new JOB

so much to say

Today I got up and went for my walk with my friend as scheduled. My exercise routine isnt very extreme but it is a start and the real point is to set up a routine I can stick to, which i have.  Because I am keeping such a busy schedule over the next 5 months or so, pretty much everything has to be well planned out for me to stick to it. I need to still figure out when is a good time to have a dedicated homework break but so far I am just trying to do it as soon as its assigned. I think 2 hour blocks twice a week should do nicely but with the crazy hours at work and varying days off its hard to make a solid plan. I also think at least 2 hours of dedicated house cleaning is needed too. I can always add to the time slots if i need more but shouldnt lessen it any since i know i will need that much time if not more.  So as far as starting school off right and getting a diet and exercise plan started I hit the ground running and am sticking to it pretty well.  Speaking of the diet,  it is not as hard as I thought. The first few days took a bit more willpower and I felt a bit hungry because it was different but now I am actually feeling pretty good. I have to plan ahead and make sure I have snacks with me if I am not going to be home for several hours but it makes me think about what i am going to eat so I pack good stuff. I'm also getting used to eating breakfast every day and wake up hungry so its easy to start with a good breakfast. What I am doing is having 3 small meals a day and 2 to 3 healthy snacks. Usually after a few hours i start getting hungry again but thats what i want. I only eat what my body can burn in a short time then i eat more. Its a great so far since i stress eat and eat when i watch tv as well. Anyhooo

  There is so much i want to and need to accomplish this year,  i think i am going to make a separate post just listing it all out so its easy for me to look back on. well, this is all for me anyway since its not really intended for anyone else to read. Besides that, I am feeling a little better from my last post.  My phone actually cut it short accidentally but wasnt much really to say other than what was there. Some days i feel really depressed and alone. I realize i have good friends and an awesome boyfriend but some days i just cant get with it.  

Cry

Some nights i just wanna cry myself to sleep. I feel so lost and alone all the time even tho i know im doing ok. What i really want is just to figure out how to fix how i feel but idont know what to do.

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